What makes a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally their intention.
A great parent does not have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are ten tips that will help you be a much better parent, learn effective parenting skills, and avoid bad parenting.
Not all of them are that easy.
It is not likely that any person is able to do them all the time.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do a component of these tips in this parenting guide, you will be moving in the right direction if you keep working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is a special species in part since we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them in to our own. Children, in particular, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the individual you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love can - things as material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that's when you will have a spoiled kid.
To love the child of yours can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can cause the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to provide us a deep feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and never to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the beginning years. They'll then be equipped to see positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Drive with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a positive manner, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a much better connection with the child of yours and your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there is an additional reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not need to offer solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to be an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you don't succeed at first. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief also.
Pay attention to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or maybe the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when https://parentinghowto.com/ a kid is born. If you do not pay attention to them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your kid that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in daily life, they are also far more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective alternatives to discipline that have been proven to be much more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a kid?
If you're like most parents, you want the child of yours to excel in college, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Consider what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting strategies, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a kid and info which are backed by science, here is among my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every kid differs. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be a variety of effective parenting practices you could choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Naturally, you can also decide to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are less susceptible may "turn out fine" no matter how tough their parents treat them. But it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are simply fortunate. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on your part in the short term but can save you lots of time and agony in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally very rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come later than the hard work. But if we try our best today, we will eventually reap the rewards and also have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!